How to Go About ‘Manifestation’ When I Don’t Know What I Want?

Hi Kelli

Without something specific to focus I am not sure how to apply these sorts of teachings. I just know I’m unhappy with my life now and want things to be different, but not sure how. Thanks!

 

Not Knowing May Actually Be Better for You

In some ways, I think not knowing what you want is actually more helpful for getting it. Anyone who is even slightly versed in teachings about conscious creation, manifesting, the law of attraction and the like have probably heard all about the evils of ‘attachment.’ This vibe-killing tendency presents major barriers to receiving because it creates a ‘problematic’ emotional and mental state that makes it harder for things to change. 

When we have set our sights on something very specific to ‘manifest’ it becomes very precious, and getting it becomes the most important thing we must do in our life. We focus very much on its absence, and all the icky feelings that lie at the root of  the ‘want’ get stirred up more strongly, which just makes us want the thing more. 

When we haven’t identified very specific things we want, very specific goals we want to achieve, there is less of this icky energy to contend with. When we aren’t distracted by external wants–which may or may not be a good representation of what we actually want–we can focus on what really matters.

All you want is to feel certain feelings, and every external want we set our sights on is for no other reason than believing acquiring those things will give us the desired feelings. 

So start there. The best question to ask yourself is not ‘what do I want?’ but ‘how do I want to feel?’ At some point, specific desires will probably start to take shape and that’s fine. But if you get some clarity of the ‘feelings front’ first, that will put you in a better position to evaluate opportunities, make decisions, decide what actions to take, what jobs, people, experiences, best represent those feelings, etc…

In figuring out how you want to feel, your current experience will likely serve as a helpful springboard. You may identify a lot of things you are feeling now that you don’t want to feel, and you would just consider what that emotional ‘opposite’ would be. You will take note of things happening in your life right now you think are contributing to those bad feelings, and this will help you identify certain changes you want to make in your life. 

 

General Vibe Management

If we think of terms like ‘energy’ and ‘vibration’ as simply fancy words for feelings–something I have mentioned many times before–then we will understand the tremendous value of what I like to call ‘general vibe management.’ If you make an effort to just feel better overall–WHICH IS ALL YOU REALLY WANT– that shift in emotional state will have a positive impact on ‘manifestation’ even if you aren’t ‘trying’ to manifest anything in particular.

You get to start feeling better now without anything having to change first, without you having to figure anything out. And this more immediate shift in your well-being is actually what you were looking for anyway. 

General vibe management can take infinite forms since it really comes down to what resonates with a particular person. Certain actions may be more effective than others depending on what you are trying to achieve, what needs you have for that moment. There is no one behavior, one type of action, tool or technique that is better, works ‘faster,’ is more powerful,etc…

Tools, techniques and the like have no power in and of themselves to change our beliefs or our feelings. Our use of them is a manifestation of a decision, of an intention to change, to be different, to heal, to feel better. And the positive results we get are that intention coming to fruition. So don’t do things that don’t feel emotionally resonant or you probably won’t find them very helpful. 

It is important to note that ‘general vibe management’ doesn’t necessarily include manifesting-and-personal-growth-specific ‘tools’ like affirmations, gratitude lists, visualizing,etc… This can be anything that makes you feel better–exercising more, taking up a hobby, spending more time with friends. 

For many people, the latter sorts of activities may have a greater impact than the former. In fact, some people find focusing too much on all that stuff actually works against them for a number of reasons. 

It is also important to remember that ‘general vibe management’ for most people is not just about doing things you aren’t doing now, but not doing things you are doing now. In taking stock of your life, and how you are spending your time, you’ll likely come across some habits and tendencies that would strongly undermine your emotional transformation efforts. I call these things ‘energetic saboteurs.’ 

Changing some of these habits may be daunting, and you probably won’t pivot right away. That’s okay. There is usually a gap between the realizations we make and actually acting on them.  But if you realize there are changes that would be beneficial for you, and you commit to trying, you’ll get there.

 Don’t feel pressure to do a complete 180 overnight. You may need to start small and that’s okay–that incremental progress can be very motivating and keeps us moving forward.

For example, you may not go from a full-blown social media addiction to checking it a few minutes a week. Your first step might be trying to not look at it as soon as you wake up, or installing an app on your phone that blocks it after a certain time of night, or doesn’t allow you to access it for a set number of hours. 

Again, at the end of the day all you want is to feel better, and I’m sure this is a long-term goal of yours. So remember what you are trying to do here is foster lasting change, a new way of being overall.

 It is easy to forget our actual goal is to feel better; the egoic mind, in its pursuit of all the ‘stuff’ it wants, sees the emotional transformation as nothing more than a means to an end, not the end in itself. It reads about teachings like the law of attraction telling us feeling a certain way will get us everything we want, so it sees improving our emotional state as nothing more than some sort of tool to advance its agenda. 

And when feeling better is not our actual goal, it becomes very hard to achieve it. 

And let’s not forget one of the biggest benefits of ‘general vibe management’ is it makes you better equipped for the next piece of the puzzle…

 

Dealing with Your Feelings

No piece of content of mine would be complete if I didn’t mention the importance of dealing with your negative feelings. Wanting of any kind is always driven by the egoic mind, and its wanting is always driven by some negative emotional state. Pain-minimizing is the name of the game for this part of us. 

And for the person who hasn’t zeroed in on any specifics yet, committing to this more unpleasant part of the process will bode very well since at some point you may start to do so. You’ll realize you want a new job, a relationship, significant changes in your lifestyle, specific experiences,etc…

And if you have started working through some of the stuff that typically lies at the root of those wants–feelings of lack, scarcity, not feeling good enough, feeling incomplete, hurt from past experiences,etc…–you may not operate as strongly from ‘pain-minimizing mode’ as people typically do. What may have been white-hot burning needs will more closely resemble ‘preferences,’ which can still be sticky, but not nearly as much. 

When you start exploring your feelings more deeply, and the stories and beliefs causing them, you will realize one of the most liberating truths of all–your external circumstances are not the cause. And with this understanding the outside world isn’t the problem, comes the very powerful realization that changing it can’t be the answer. 

Actually buying into this on the deepest levels is a process of course! But even the smallest willingness to consider it is true can take us a long way emotionally. 

You may still want certain things, but it won’t feel as heavy and consuming. That aforementioned problematic feeling of ‘attachment’ won’t be as strong. 

And even when you have moments of that strong ‘need,’ of believing that the outside is the problem, the part of you that knows this isn’t true grows more strongly in your awareness, so long as you are willing to let it grow. 

And because of that stronger awareness, in instances when those errors in thinking are dominant, you don’t feel wholly consumed by those thoughts. There is a part that isn’t buying it, that knows it is false. 

The important thing to remember about dealing with our negative feelings is that it is primary yet secondary. This obviously doesn’t seem to make any sense so let me explain. Again, if terms like ‘energy’ and ‘vibration’ are simply fancy words for feelings, then our negative feelings are our biggest barrier to what we seek, making them our biggest ‘concern.’ 

We feel badly because of all of our bad feelings–all we want is for them to go away. The egoic mind tries to construct our whole life around minimizing them, avoiding them, keeping them dormant. 

This is a very different goal than trying to actually heal them mind you, and this takes us on a journey comprised of a lot more suffering than necessary. The funny thing about pain-minimizing mode is it actually creates more pain…but I digress. 

So if our negative feelings are our biggest problem, acknowledging them, feeling them, exploring the thinking creating them, is really the only thing we need to do to get everything we want, both in terms of our desired emotional state, and in our physical world of form. Dealing with them automatically creates a more positive frame of mind, and we don’t need to try as hard to feel good. Feeling good is a natural byproduct of this ‘work.’ 

So in this sense, our negative feelings are our primary concern. Yet this doesn’t mean constantly digging around for them, constantly analyzing our emotional state, and the like. It simply means that if we have ‘stuff’ there, we commit to dealing with it because that will be the most helpful thing we can do for ourselves. We commit to no longer living in denial of our feelings, to no longer trying to constantly distract ourselves from them. 

On a day to day basis, however, they are a secondary concern. In our day to day life, we should be focused on what we can do to enhance our emotional wellness, manage stress, bring more joy into our lives and cultivate greater peace. 

It’s important not to become obsessed with rooting out ‘negativity’ lest the law of attraction won’t ‘work’ for you. It is important not to feel pressure to be happy all the time. You don’t want to fear your bad feelings and see them as some enemy getting in the way of your happiness–they are actually very helpful messengers showing you the way to it if we are willing to engage with them. 

A willingness to face and feel our negative feelings offers us what we want most pretty much immediately–to feel better. Imagine being able to start experiencing the thing you want most in this world without anything in your life needing to change in even the slightest way first?

The egoic thought system has thoroughly convinced you of the opposite your whole life. Imagine realizing it was wrong?

Imagine what it would feel like to start untethering yourself from this most painful idea?

Imagine how good it would feel to realize that giving up the belief that you need something outside of you to be happy is actually the easiest way to start changing the outside? 

The egoic mind would find this ‘ironic’ but spirit mind is like…um, yeah, of course it works that way. All that resistance is the biggest problem and that one shift in thinking starts chipping away at it significantly. 

So don’t be afraid to start looking within and be honest about what you find. Understand that this journey inside is the linchpin to all you seek, from greater clarity to help guide your decisions to emotional healing. 

 

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