You want to change. Most people do. But when things get uncomfortable, when the habit is hard to stick to, the results are slow, or life gets in the way, how often do you follow through?
The truth is, change isn’t always motivating. Most of the time, it’s messy, inconvenient, and painful. And that’s when most people give up.
But James Lawrence, a.k.a., the Iron Cowboy, didn’t. He chose to keep going, even when everything in him wanted to stop.
“I just kept wondering what is the human body and mind truly capable of,” he tells Kristina Mӓnd-Lakhiani in an interview on the Mindvalley Book Club.
What he learned is that pain can help you understand why change feels impossible and what it actually takes to follow through.
Watch the whole interview:
Who is James Lawrence?
Say the name “James Lawrence” to anyone in the endurance world, and you’ll likely hear stories that sound like urban legends. He’s an extreme endurance athlete who completed…
- 100 Ironmans in 100 days,
- 50 Ironmans in 50 states in 50 days,
- A 250-mile run across Greece, and
- A ride up Mount Kilimanjaro.
That’s not all. He’s also a father of five and a loving husband, a keynote speaker, and wears a cowboy hat while running marathons (in case you’re wondering where the Iron Cowboy name came from).
But that’s not where his story starts.
Long before the world records, James was running a mortgage company in Utah. When the 2008 financial crisis hit, everything fell apart. He lost the business, the house, and his sense of direction while raising five young kids.
Out of that rock bottom came a four-mile fun run that he “struggled through.” His wife watched, called him pathetic, and signed him up for a marathon.
“That kind of kicked off the whole journey,” he shares. “I fell in love with the sport and the community.”
And he just kept showing up. One race became a dozen. A dozen became thirty. Then came the 50-50-50—50 Ironmans in 50 states in 50 days. And finally, the Conquer 100.
If you want to be surrounded by greatness, you have to start to act great and be great.
— James Lawrence, world-record holder endurance athlete and author of Iron Hope: Lessons Learned from Conquering the Impossible
Through his book, Iron Hope: Lessons Learned from Conquering the Impossible, James takes you inside those 100 days. (Disclosure: This is an affiliate link. If you make a purchase through it, Mindvalley Book Club may earn a commission at no extra cost to you.)
But you won’t find much about triathlons in it. He explains, “It was just the modality that I chose to learn some incredible life lessons.”
And one of the hardest to accept was why change feels so out of reach for most people.
Why most people never change, according to James Lawrence
James has a theory: Most people never change because they keep waiting for the conditions to feel right. They might wait for motivation to strike, for clarity to arrive, or for the discomfort to ease up.
It’s likely you’ve experienced it, too. Like when you tell yourself you’ll start exercising once work gets less busy… but it never does. Or when you want to change careers… but keep telling yourself you’ll do it after the next raise. Or when you plan to eat better… but give in to food cravings and promise you’ll start fresh next week.
That kind of waiting can turn into a habit. And, over time, the window for transformation closes.
It’s something experts in behavior change have seen again and again. According to social scientist B.J. Fogg, “behavior and behavior change [aren’t] as complicated as most people think.”
In his TEDx Talk that’s been viewed over two million times, he explains that habits are simply “systematic.” Change happens through small, consistent steps that are repeated over time, no perfect moments or ideal conditions required.
James learned this through experience. During his 100-day challenge, he kept moving even when his legs were fractured and his body was shutting down. He had trained himself to follow through, even when everything felt difficult.
Over time, James built mental toughness by practicing hard things repeatedly, especially when he didn’t feel like doing them.
And this mindset is not reserved for endurance athletes, like him. Anyone, such as yourself, can apply it.
And it starts by noticing the moment you want to quit. Then choose to keep going.
That decision is where real change begins.
What James Lawrence’s 100 Ironmans can teach you about surviving real life
Most people think of endurance as physical stamina. But James sees it differently. For him, real endurance is staying in hard things long enough to grow.
Work hard, show up, and believe. And magic happens.
— James Lawrence, world-record holder endurance athlete and author of Iron Hope: Lessons Learned from Conquering the Impossible
Eventually, people started reaching out. Many of them were dealing with things like addiction, depression, trauma, or grief. They weren’t drawn to the sport but to James and his team’s “willingness to suffer intentionally.” Seeing that helped them believe they could keep going, too.
You’ve probably had moments like that. Maybe not as extreme, but moments when things drag on, when nothing feels urgent, when progress is slow or invisible.
James used a few tools to help him stay with it. And these tools can work in everyday life, especially when you feel stuck, heavy, or uncertain.
1. Do hard things on purpose
Hard things? Ughhh. No one wants to do them. But as that Samuel Goldwyn quote goes, “the harder I work, the luckier I get.”
“Everybody always just assumes, Oh, he’s successful; he got lucky, right?” James points out. But, in all actuality, it’s just work. “Work hard, show up, and believe. And magic happens.”
That’s the no-BS formula behind James’ success. Even through boredom, injury, and the kind of fatigue most people avoid by default, he worked until his discomfort got higher than his excuses.
It sounds simple enough. But did you know that people who fall short of high, specific goals often lose motivation, confidence, and momentum? Even so, a national Ipsos survey found most Americans still believe grit beats talent, connections, or luck.
B.J., in his TEDx Talk, gave an example of how he started with just two push-ups a day. “After I pee, I will do push-ups,” he explains. “After two, it’s really easy. Then, you do five. Then, you do eight.”
So yes, hard work is uncomfortable. But if you avoid it, you’re not saving yourself. You’re only training yourself to stop.
Where you can start: Do the thing you’ve been meaning to do.
Open the project you’ve been ignoring for weeks. Make the call you keep avoiding. Finish the task you’ve been pretending isn’t there. Stop the revenge bedtime procrastination and go to sleep when you said you would.
Write down what you did. Do it again tomorrow.
That’s the rep.
2. Recover like it’s your job
Rest is for the weak? Try it’s what keeps you in the game.
“There’s a lot of times where I just check out, relax, and balance,” James says. That includes vacations, family get-togethers, and “getting on my bike and riding in the mountains.”
It’s not optional (or it shouldn’t be anyway). Because when you push too long without recovery, the system breaks down, stress builds, and the body takes the hit.
In 2024, 43% of U.S. adults reported feeling more anxious than the year before. Most linked it directly to rising stress levels.
But what researchers also found is, recovery habits, like quality sleep and mental detachment from work, are tied directly to long-term well-being and performance.
“Pushing ourselves is a great experience,” James says. “And also just checking out and being in our own thoughts is great, too.”
Where you can start: Give your system a chance to reset.
Go to bed on time, step outside and do some earthing, say no to the thing that would flatten your weekend, or even do something simple like put your phone away while you eat.
Then do it again tomorrow. That’s the rep.
3. Choose your circle wisely
James might be the one on camera, but he’s never done it alone. His team was with him every single day through the 50, the 100, and everything in between.
“Nothing great is ever accomplished on our own,” he says. For him, that starts with his family, his trainers, and his wingmen, Aaron and Casey.
It’s no secret your tribe matters. People with strong support systems handle stress better and are less likely to deal with anxiety or depression. Especially when those people share your standards and don’t let you off the hook when things get hard.
These are the people who show up for you, suffer with you, and don’t let you tap out just because you’re tired and everything sucks.
“If you want to be surrounded by greatness, you have to start to act great and be great,” James explains. It’s simple math. You rise or fall to the level of the people around you.
Where you can start: Take inventory. Who in your life makes it easier to show up? Who makes it easier to quit?
Spend more time with the ones who hold you to a higher standard. That’s the circle that keeps you in it when it gets hard.
Then keep showing up. That’s the rep.
Fuel your mind
If you want to see what the herculean behind-the-scenes looked like, you can watch James Lawrence’s documentary, Iron Cowboy: The Story of the 50.50.50. It follows the physical breakdowns, mental battles, and quiet moments of doubt that shaped one of the most ambitious endurance feats ever recorded.
But if there’s anything James wants you to take away from it all, it’s this: “know that there’s a brilliant future, and you get to choose how you show up and how you navigate it.”
And that’s the kind of insight you’ll keep finding at the Mindvalley Book Club with Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani. Just clear ideas from people who’ve lived through it, thought deeply about it, and are willing to talk plainly about what they learned.
Here’s what you can expect:
- One hand-picked book a month, chosen for the clarity it brings to real, personal questions,
- Direct conversations with the author that get into the story behind the book,
- Real takeaways you can apply (without needing to read 300 pages to get there), and
- A community of people who care more about depth than noise.
If you’re thirsty for more, the Mindvalley Book Club is where it starts. Join for free and see where the next book takes you.
Welcome in.
https://blog.mindvalley.com/james-lawrence/
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