The four gifts to give yourself as you approach the new year

Hi there,

Two nights ago, I experienced one of those moments that makes you pause and think, “This. This right here is what life is all about.” It was nothing extravagant or over-the-top. In fact, it was incredibly simple. But it was magical.

Here’s how it went down.

My kids and I had just finished decorating the Christmas tree. The kind of decorating where you start off meticulously placing ornaments and, by the end, you’re just tossing tinsel at the tree and hoping for the best. The lights were twinkling, candles were glowing, and the whole house smelled like cinnamon and nostalgia.

We had family over, and we ordered some delicious Georgian food. (Side note: If you’ve never had khachapuri, stop what you’re doing and Google the nearest Georgian restaurant. Thank me later.) After dinner, we all settled in to watch Red One, the new Dwayne Johnson movie.

Now, let’s talk about Red One. To call it “not great” would be a kindness. Dwayne, if you’re reading this, you know I love you, but… Santa Claus gets kidnapped? Really? Even my 11-year-old was side-eying the plot. But here’s the thing: the movie wasn’t the point.

Pic below: My Christmas corner in my Estonian apartment in Tallinn.

The point was being surrounded by family. Laughing at the cheesy dialogue. Savoring the glow of the tree. For a few hours, everything felt perfect. It reminded me of the true magic of the holiday season: being present, finding joy in the simple things, and feeling completely at peace.

As we prepare to wrap up 2024 and step into 2025, I want to share something with you that’s deeply shaped my life. 

It’s a piece of wisdom I learned from one of my mentors, Professor Srikumar Rao.

Rao is one of those people who drops profound insights so effortlessly, you almost want to ask him to slow down so you can catch your breath. He’s taught at elite schools like Columbia and Kellogg, where his MBA classes are so popular students would practically arm-wrestle to get in. Rao’s gift is blending ancient wisdom from his Indian heritage with modern principles, and what he shared with me during one of our conversations completely shifted my worldview.

I asked him, “If beliefs shape our reality, what’s the single most important belief to have?”

He smiled—that kind of knowing smile that says, “You’re about to have your mind blown.” Then he said:

“The most important belief you can hold is in a benevolent universe.”

I leaned in. “What do you mean by that?”

The theory of the benevolent universe

Rao explained, “A benevolent universe is one that loves you, supports you, and constantly conspires in your favor. If you’re religious, replace ‘universe’ with ‘God’—the essence is the same. The idea is that nothing in life is happening to you; it’s all happening for you”.

I’ll admit, it took me a moment to process. But then it clicked.

Think about it. That breakup that shattered your heart? Maybe it was clearing the path for a love that’s deeper and truer. That business idea that failed spectacularly? Perhaps it taught you lessons that will make your next venture a success.

When you believe in a benevolent universe, you start seeing life’s curveballs not as punishments but as stepping stones.

So, as you reflect on this past year, ask yourself: What if everything that’s happened in your life—good, bad, or downright confusing—has been happening for you?

And as we head into 2025, I want to share four transformative practices to help you embody this belief of the benevolent universe.

I call them The 4 Gifts.

1. The gift of presence

Let me start with a confession. I, like many of you, have been guilty of pretending to listen while scrolling Instagram. (Seriously, how do cat videos keep getting even better?) But here’s the thing: when we’re distracted, we miss the magic of the moment.

Presence is about showing up fully—no phone, no multitasking, just you and the people or experiences in front of you. Keith Ferrazzi, in his Mindvalley program Mastering Authentic Networking, puts it beautifully: to truly connect with someone, you need to be present.

This means asking, “What’s going on in your life?” and then actually listening to the answer. Not thinking about your grocery list. Not mentally drafting your next text. Just being there.

This holiday season, give your loved ones the gift of your undivided attention. Put your phone on silent (or, dare I say, in another room). Look people in the eye. Laugh at their jokes, even the bad ones.

Presence isn’t just about connection—it’s about savoring life. Feel the warmth of your cocoa mug. Smell the pine of the Christmas tree. Notice the way the light dances on the ornaments. These little things? They’re everything.

2. The gift of gratitude

Gratitude is like a superpower. It shifts your focus from what’s missing to what’s already here.

Ken Honda, in his Mindvalley program Money EQ, has a practice called the arigato technique. Every time you spend money, say “Arigato, arigato, arigato.” You’re thanking the money for flowing into your life and for transforming it into something meaningful—whether it’s a cup of coffee or a gift for a loved one.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Thanking my money? Really, Vishen?” But hear me out. This practice rewires your brain to see abundance everywhere. And when you start noticing abundance, guess what? You attract more of it.

I started using this technique whenever I bought something—a cup of coffee, a gift for a friend, or even groceries. And you know what? It completely shifted my relationship with money. Instead of seeing money as something stressful or scarce, I began to see it as a flow—an energy that comes into my life and goes out to create value.

Here’s how you can practice gratitude this season

• As you shop for gifts or enjoy a meal, pause and give thanks for the abundance in your life.
• Reflect on the people and experiences that have shaped you, even the challenges.
• Consider writing a gratitude journal to capture the blessings, big and small, in your life.

Gratitude isn’t just about money, though. It’s about appreciating the small things—a kind word, a cozy blanket, the miracle of Wi-Fi when you’re streaming holiday movies. (Seriously, Wi-Fi is a modern marvel. Let’s not take it for granted.)

3. The gift of self-compassion

Ah, self-compassion. The thing we offer freely to others but somehow hoard when it comes to ourselves. Let me put it this way: Imagine you’re hiking with a friend. You’re both trudging up a rocky trail, and suddenly, your friend trips and falls.

What would you do?

Most of us would rush to their side, help them up, and say something like, “Hey, don’t worry—it happens. You’ve got this!”

Now, imagine you’re the one who trips. What do you say to yourself? Chances are it’s something more like, “Wow, you’re such a klutz. Seriously, can’t you even handle walking without screwing it up?”

Why do we do this? Why are we so much kinder to others than we are to ourselves?

Dr. John Demartini, in the upcoming program, The Values Factor, explains that self-compassion comes from living in alignment with our highest values. When you honor what truly matters to you, it’s easier to treat yourself with kindness—even when you stumble.

So, the next time you metaphorically trip (or literally, because hey, hiking can be tricky), pause. Treat yourself the way you would your best friend. A little encouragement goes a long way, especially when it’s coming from you.

The truth is, life is full of rocky trails. You’re going to stumble now and then. But self-compassion is what helps you get back up and keep going.

4. The gift of vision

Now let’s talk about the final gift—the one that ties everything together: the gift of vision.

Vision isn’t about making a long list of New Year’s resolutions that you’ll forget by February 1st. It’s not about saying, “I want to lose weight,” or “I should save more money.” Those are fine goals, but they lack one essential ingredient: emotion.

Vision is about dreaming big—so big it gives you chills—and creating a detailed, vivid picture of the life you want to live. It’s about tapping into your deepest desires for who you want to become, what you want to experience, and how you want to contribute to the world.

My friend Cameron Herold teaches this beautifully in his quest Vivid Vision. He encourages entrepreneurs to create a detailed roadmap for their businesses three years into the future. But here’s the thing: you can do this for your life, too. And when you do, magic happens.

Let me break it down with a simple but transformative exercise that I created: the Three Most Important Questions.

Take a journal and give yourself 10 quiet minutes. Ask yourself these three questions:

1. What do I want to experience in life? Think about the moments that light you up—the trips you want to take, the relationships you want to nurture, the passions you want to explore.
2. How do I want to grow? This is about who you want to become. Do you want to learn a new skill? Cultivate better health? Strengthen your emotional resilience?
3. How do I want to contribute to the world? This isn’t just about philanthropy. It’s about making an impact—whether it’s mentoring someone, creating something meaningful, or simply spreading kindness. 

Write down your answers. Be as specific as possible. If you want to travel, don’t just write “travel more”. Write, “I want to stand in the shadow of the Eiffel Tower, eating a warm, buttery croissant, while my kids laugh and chase pigeons in the square”. (Can you see it? Feel it? That’s the power of detail.)

Once you’ve written your answers, take it a step further. Upload them to Mindvalley’s new Goals Analyzer tool, which uses AI to help refine and reframe your goals. It’s like having a life coach in your pocket.

Here’s why this matters: When you create a vision that’s vivid, emotional, and clear, you activate a powerful part of your brain called the reticular activating system (RAS). Think of your RAS as the GPS of your subconscious mind. When you feed it a clear destination, it starts finding the fastest routes to get you there.

Without vision, your subconscious mind is like a ship without a compass—drifting aimlessly. But with a vivid vision? It’s a laser-guided missile locked on its target.

Wrapping it all together

These four gifts—presence, gratitude, self-compassion, and vision—aren’t just practices. They’re a way of being.

So this holiday season, give yourself the gift of believing in a benevolent universe. Everything in your life is happening for you.

And if you’re a Mindvalley Member, dive into the quests I’ve mentioned. Srikumar Rao’s Quest for Personal Mastery is a life-changing place to start.

Here’s to a joyful holiday season and a 2025 filled with magic, growth, and a lot of laughter.

With love,
Vishen

P.S. As you reflect on these four gifts, which one resonates most with you this holiday season? I’d love to hear your thoughts—just hit reply and share.

For more inspiration and a glimpse into how I’m weaving these ideas into my own life, feel free to join me on Instagram.

And if you’re ready to dive deeper into these concepts, the Mindvalley Blog is filled with transformative insights to guide your journey.