How to get rizz so good, your friends will start asking for tips

There are just some people you’re immediately drawn to. They have that vibe that makes you go, “That guy is lowkey fire” or “She’s giving bestie energy.”

That charm they emit, that magnetism—it’s all about the rizz, a.k.a. charisma. But here’s the thing: it isn’t some magical trait reserved for the chosen few.

“Anyone,” says Vanessa Van Edwards, “can learn to be more charismatic.” This Mindvalley trainer would know. She, herself, is a self-proclaimed “recovering awkward person.”

And like her, once you know how to get rizz, you’ll leave a lasting impact wherever you go.

What does “rizz” mean?

The “rizz” meaning is, basically, charisma, which Vanessa defines as “the incredible ability to inspire, impact, and influence the people around you.” It’s just that “rizz” is a slanged-up version, as in cha[rizz]ma.

The term blew up on TikTok, so much so that it was crowned Oxford’s Word of the Year 2023. Now, you can hear it being used everywhere… “He’s got rizz” or “She’s serving major rizz right now.” 

Sometimes, you’ll hear people say “W rizz”—that’s when someone’s charm is so on point, they’re basically winning at life. And the “W”? It stands for win, and it’s the ultimate praise for pulling off flawless flirting or making a killer impression.

So what does that look like in action? Well, imagine you’re at a party, and someone walks in, instantly grabbing attention—not because they’re the loudest, but because their vibe is just on point.

They make effortless eye contact, crack jokes that land perfectly, and know how to start a conversation without any awkward pauses. Everyone just gravitates toward them and wants to bask in their energy, because the substance they have speaks for itself.

“The more charismatic you are, the more respect you get for your work and your ideas,” Vanessa points out in her Mindvalley program, Magnetic Charisma. Because, ultimately, it shapes how people experience you—and that matters more than you think.

Why it matters

Whether you’re shooting your shot in the DMs, vibing at a party, or even speaking up in class, rizz makes people want to know you, remember you, and actually listen when you talk.

The unfortunate truth is, young adults often struggle with low self-esteem. Girls’ self-confidence, especially, has seen a plummet from 2017 to 2023. And with the rise of social media, research shows that teens are showing lower self-esteem and increased mental health challenges.

The thing with rizz, according to Vanessa, is that it has a wonderful side effect: confidence. She explains, “Your charisma gives others confidence in you and you more confidence in yourself.” 

Ever noticed how the most charismatic people tend to attract opportunities, friendships, and respect? That’s not luck—it’s the way they own their energy. And rizz gives you that same power.

Your charisma gives others confidence in you and you more confidence in yourself.

— Vanessa Van Edwards, trainer of Mindvalley’s Magnetic Charisma program

Plus, life’s just easier when you know how to get rizz with people effortlessly. Strong social skills can help you network, crush interviews, and even avoid those painfully awkward convos where you’re both just standing there, waiting for someone to break the silence.

7 examples of people with rizz

Surely you know someone who knows, at the most, how to get W rizz. Especially celebs, who’ve mastered it so well, they’ve basically become the blueprint. Here are a few:

• Timothée Chalamet with his laid-back charm, soft-spoken manner, and mysterious energy.
• Zendaya with her effortless poise, killer sense of humor, and ability to own every interview and award show stage.
• Harry Styles with his stage presence, unapologetic self-expression, and the way he interacts with fans.
• Billie Eilish with her cool, no-try attitude mixed with boldness and originality.
• Doja Cat with her playful energy, social media charisma, and ability to command attention in interviews and performances.
• Bad Bunny with his effortless cool and unapologetic self-expression.
• Taylor Swift with her emotional connection with fans and how she carries herself with elegance while staying relatable.

The thing is, these celebs don’t just have rizz because they’re famous. It’s their confidence and realness that makes them so darn captivating.

How to get rizz: 10 tips from Mindvalley’s charisma experts

“I always had a really hard time connecting with people,” Vanessa recalls. But knowing how to get rizz helped her not be socially awkward and start owning every interaction with confidence.

And like her, you, too, can go from reserved to radiating effortless charm.

How to get rizz as a boy

While boys tend to have higher self-esteem than girls, it doesn’t mean that they automatically know how to connect on a deeper level or leave a memorable impact.

Here’s how you can level up your charisma game:

1. Unlock power moves with confident body language

Your body speaks before you even say a word. As Vanessa explains, “60% of our presence or our communication is nonverbal—that’s our facial expressions, our body language, and our voice tone.” The other 40%? Verbal. So make sure your body’s saying, “I’ve got this.” 

Try out these power moves to level up your presence:

• Stand tall with an open posture. Roll your shoulders back and keep your chest open—like you own the space.
• Lean in slightly. It shows you’re engaged without being overbearing.
• Keep space between your torso and arms. It signals confidence, not defensiveness.
• Lock steady eye contact. Hold it for a few seconds, then glance away naturally.
• Use your hands. Open-palmed gestures = approachable.

The goal? Look relaxed and self-assured, not stiff or closed off.

2. Drop convo openers that actually hit

Boring small talk? Over it. If you want to make a lasting impression, ditch the “What do you do?” snoozefest and try open-ended questions that actually spark a vibe shift.

Vanessa says, “When you ask questions that we’ve heard a million times before, it’s like asking the other person’s brain to stay asleep.” So instead, try:

• “What’s a personal passion project you’re working on?”
• “What’s been the highlight of your day so far?”
• “Have anything exciting coming up?”
• “If you could instantly master any skill, what would it be?”
• “What’s the best thing you’ve learned recently?”

They might not make it to the list of the best rizz lines, like “You should be Jasmine without the ‘Jas’” would… But here’s something interesting: research shows language influences how emotions are experienced. So choosing your words wisely can shift the entire flow of a conversation.

And when you make someone feel seen, you’re instantly more unforgettable.

3. Flex your personal strengths like a pro

Rizz isn’t faking it. According to Vanessa, it happens when you own what makes you unique, not when you copy someone else’s style.

Take Tyler, The Creator, for example. His charisma comes from fully owning his quirky, offbeat personality, bold fashion choices, and unfiltered humor.

So, find yours:

• Identify your thing. Maybe you’re hilarious, a great listener, or the hype friend everyone needs.
• Show, don’t tell. Instead of saying, “I’m funny,” drop a joke that actually lands.
• Ask your friends. They’ll point out strengths you might not even notice.

When you play to your strengths and stay true to yourself, your charm speaks louder than words.

4. Master your voice game for max impact

Your voice? It’s low-key one of your biggest flexes…when you use it right. How you speak doesn’t just make you sound confident; it makes you feel it too.

Linda Clemons, a nonverbal communications expert and the trainer of Mindvalley’s Body Language for Dating & Attraction program, points out that the way you speak matters just as much as what you say. So here’s how to master it:

• Ditch the uptalk. Lower your pitch at the end of sentences to sound sure of yourself.
• Breathe steady. Talk on the exhale for a stronger, more grounded tone.
• Pregnant pause like a pro. A well-placed silence adds impact and draws attention.
• Smile while you speak. It makes your voice sound warmer and more inviting, even if people can’t see you.

So next time you open your mouth, remember: steady, expressive voice = instant charisma boost.

5. Level up your emotional smarts

Emotional intelligence (EQ) brings you to a deeper level and builds genuine connections.

Here’s how to boost your emotional smarts:

• Pay attention to body language. If someone seems off, check in on how they make you feel instead of ignoring it.
• Mirror energy. If they’re chill, keep it low-key. If they’re hyped, match the energy.
• Listen to listen, not just to reply.
• Stay calm under pressure. Vanessa emphasizes that grace under pressure speaks volumes.

The more you build your EQ, the stronger your presence feels—and it makes every interaction better.

How to get rizz as a girl

Girls are often told to be polite or nice. But real rizz? It’s about being unforgettable, not just agreeable.

You show up with boldness, with originality, and with the kind of presence that makes people want to know more. So learn how to get rizz by turning on your natural charm.

6. Nail eye contact and face game

Ever had someone hold eye contact with you during a convo, nodding and smiling like you’re the most interesting person in the room?

That’s next-level rizz. 

​​”The eyes are important,” says Linda. “It allows you to see the beauty, the integrity, the honesty of another individual.”

Add some expressive face game, and you’ve got a recipe for unforgettable presence. Here’s how to master it yourself:

• Hold eye contact for 3-5 seconds. Confident, not intense.
• Use open expressions. Smile, nod, raise your brows when reacting.
• Match their energy. Reflect, don’t copy.
• Avoid the blank stare. Look engaged, not zoned out.

It’s all about presence. Stay relaxed, expressive, and natural—because people gravitate toward those who make them feel seen.

7. Radiate good vibes effortlessly

Want to throw the good vibes around like confetti? Start with your voice, as Vanessa suggests.

“Most people don’t realize that we can hear emotion from our vocal power,” she says. So when you sound bored or flat, people pick up on it. But when you bring positivity, it’s contagious.

Here’s how to keep your tone on point:

• Let your voice show warmth. Vanessa tested this in her lab—happier tones were rated more likable.
• Flash a genuine smile. It gives off the “confident body language” aura.
• Hype people up. Drop compliments naturally, or use Vanessa’s “raving introductions” technique—highlight their strengths in a way they wouldn’t hype themselves.

The truth is, the energy you bring has the power to shape every interaction. And you can make even the simplest moments unforgettable.

8. Tell stories that keep ‘em hooked

Imagine you’re at a party and someone’s talking about a wild travel adventure they had in Tokyo. They got lost, accidentally ended up at a karaoke bar, and sang Bohemian Rhapsody with total strangers who didn’t speak English—but everyone clicked because, well, music brings people together.

That story? It’s funny, surprising, and shows off their adventurous side without them having to spell it out. Plus, it gives people an easy way to connect—“Omg, I love karaoke too!”

Why it works:

• It paints a picture. You can see them getting lost.
• It builds suspense. How did they end up singing with strangers?
• It brings the feels. Music brought people together despite the language barrier.

That is the power of storytelling—it sticks. So best learn how to move people with your story.

9. Slay with your personal style

A good handshake, eye contact, and a conversation starter—that’s what a good first impression is made up of. But, as Vanessa points out, if your clothes distract, detract, and disgust, then “boy, oh, boy, there is no way to recover.”

Think about it: personal style gives people a quick read before you even speak. When you wear something that stands out? You’re bound to get noticed.

Not only that, but Linda explains that the way you “wrap your package” sets the tone for how people perceive you.

So, if you’re looking to level up your personal style for charisma, try these moves:

• Wear colors that spark attention. Bright colors, especially on top, trigger curiosity and invite contact.
• Own your signature piece. Whether it’s a statement jacket, bold earrings, or a power bracelet, anchor it into your outfit for confidence.
• Scent matters. Fruity, floral fragrances can give off a warm, approachable vibe, while spicy scents create intrigue.
• Balance power with approachability. Dark shades like black signal authority but can feel closed off in social settings. Adding personal touches, like gold jewelry, creates standout accents that soften the look and keep it inviting.

Vanessa and Linda both agree: Your style is a statement of who you are. When you do you, it becomes a tool for what Linda calls “the A factor”—the attraction factor.

10. Own every room with unshakable confidence

“When you show up as your charismatic, most confident self,” Vanessa says, “you help everyone around you be their most charismatic, most confident self.” So, how do you actually step into that energy?

• Command the space with presence. Walk tall, make eye contact, and let your posture do the talking.
• Speak with purpose. Ditch the fillers like “uh” and “kinda.”
• Flip the focus. Instead of stressing about you, focus on making others feel good—like Vanessa says, confidence is contagious.

Unshakable confidence does not equal perfection. On the contrary, it means showing up fully, embracing your flaws and all, and leaving everyone around you feeling empowered.

Unleash your rizz

The “rizz” definition might’ve thrown you off (especially if you’re not part of the Gen Z crowd). But charisma? That magnetic energy that draws people in? It’s a skill you can master—and it starts here.

Get free access to Mindvalley and learn from rizz experts like Vanessa Van Edwards and Linda Clemons. With premium lessons, daily meditations, and science-backed programs, you’ll discover how to own every interaction with unshakable confidence.

No credit card. No pressure. Just pure rizz energy.

Welcome in.